Over the course of these first 3 months of guiding people in a metta practice, I have been fascinated by the ways in which “worthiness” of loving-kindness has shown up, and more specifically, the divergent views on whether or not various beings are “worthy” of this gift.
[This post is part of a series that begins here.]
In a way, this meditation practice teaches unconditional caring and unconditional compassion. “May all beings” by design leaves no room for an out-group.
And some people (understandably, I think) struggle with this. Some share that when invited to offer loving-kindness to all, they hesitate when considering whether their ‘adversaries’ (political figures, those perpetuating or instigating acts of war and suffering, etc.) could or should be beneficiaries of this gift.
(At least) one reconciled this tension by contemplating that if those who were causing harm actually and genuinely received the fullness of loving-kindness — that is, they felt safe, they felt seen, they really knew kindness, and they were truly free — this might mean they would learn how to be without creating more harm.
Some held a conviction that, indeed, all beings are inherently worthy of loving-kindness. This belief showed up when reflecting on the experience offering loving-kindness to an almost-stranger (/acquaintance / ‘neutral’ figure): “I don’t really know them, but I know they deserve to have loving-kindness,” said a young meditator. Another rediscovered this wisdom in the context of a meaningful and at times difficult personal relationship: “this was a reminder that she deserves this.”
And this conviction, this revelation, extended at times to the self. “I, too, am worthy of love.”
Here I’ll own my bias: yes, you are. Yes, we all are.